When I get an email that begins, “Dear esteemed professor” what follows is reminiscent of the way you feel after downing two huge chocolate milkshakes on a hot day.
Dear esteemed professor,
Come help us show Washington that we mean business by encouraging Congress to pass legislation that subsidizes our local ethanol plant. By using locally grown organic sugar cane and powering the plant with solar panels and wind turbines, we can demonstrate our devotion to building a better earth. With a $20 donation, we’ll send you this fancy bumper sticker for you bicycle.
I hope you checked your wallet, pets, etc. after that letter, WC.
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