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Fix-it-Up Chappie

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One of my favorite Dr. Suess characters has to be Sylvester McMonkey McBean …

Then ONE day, it seems … while the Plain-Belly Sneetches

Were moping and doping alone on the beaches,

Just sitting there wishing their bellies had stars …

A stranger zipped up in the strangest of cars!

“My friends,” he announced in a voice clear and keen,

“My name is Sylvester McMonkey McBean.

And I’ve heard of your troubles. I’ve heard you’rre unhappy.

But I can fix that. I’m the fix-it-Up Chappie.

I’ve come here to help you. I have what you need.

And my prices are low. And I work at great speed.

And my work is one hundred percent guaranteed!”

Then, quickly, Sylvester McMonkey McBean

Put together a very peculiar machine.

And he said, “You want stars like a Star-Belly Sneetch …?

My friends, you can have them for three dollars each!”

“Just pay me your money and hop right aboard!”

So they clambered inside. Then the big machine roared

When the Plain-Belly Sneetches popped out, they had stars!

They actually did. They had stars upon thars!

Then they yelled at the ones who had stars at the start,

“We’re exactly like you! You can’t tell us apart.

We’re all just the same, now, you snooty old smarties!

And now we can go to your frankfurter parties.”

“Good grief!” groaned the ones who had stars at the first.

“We’re still the best Sneetches and they are the worst.

But, now, how in the world will we know,” they all frowned,

“If whick kind is what, or the other way around?”

Then up came McBean with a very sly wink

And he said, “Things are not quite as bad as you think.

So you don’t know who’s who. That is perfectly true.

But come with me, friends. Do you know what I’ll do?

I’ll make you, again, the best Sneetches on beaches

And all it will cost you is ten dollars eaches.”

“Belly stars are no longer in style,” said McBean.

“What you need is a trip through my Star-OFF Machine.

Then, with snoots in the air they paraded about

The best kind of Sneetches are Sneetches without!”

Then, of course, those with stars all got frightfully mad.

To be wearing a star now was frightfully bad.

Then, of course, old Sylvester McMonkey McBean

Invited them into his Star-OFF Machine.

Then, of course, as you can probably guess,

Things really got into a horrible mess.

All the rest of that day, on those wild screaming beaches,

The Fix-it-Up Chappie kept fixing up Sneetches.

Off again! On again!

In again! Out again!

Through the machines they raced round and about again,

Changing their stars every minute or two.

They kept paying money. They kept running through

Until neither the Plain nor the Star-Bellies knew

Whether this one was that one … or that one was this one

Or which one was what one … or what one was who.

Then, when every last cent

Of their money was spent,

The Fix-it-Up Chappie packed up and he went.

And he laughed as he drove

In his car up the beach,

“They will never learn.

No. You can’t teach a Sneetch!”

The story actually has a happy ending. I doubt it will be the same for us Sneetches.

One Response to “Fix-it-Up Chappie”

  1. Dr Suess for President! says:

    The Endless lessons politicians could learn from Dr Suess:

    “Don’t give up! I believe in you all
    A person’s a person, no matter how small!”

    “And the turtles, of course… All the turtles are free- As turtles and, maybe, all creatures should be.”

    “I know up on the top you are seeing great sights, but down at the bottom we, too, should have rights.”

    And my personal favorite,

    “”All alone!
    Whether you like it or not,
    alone is something you’ll
    be quite a lot””

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