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Never mind. Now the bootleggers are making eggnog.

HT to Matt H!

3 Responses to “I Thought a Problem with Capitalism was Too Much Advertising”

  1. Harry says:

    This reminds me I have to tag a Christmas tree today at a local tree farm. I know the owner, and will ask him whether he belongs to the Association; I doubt he does.

    What a great argument for abolishing the USDA, at least most of it. Like milk, eggs, pork, and beef they, along with industry associations, promote products that are generic, in this case cut Christmas trees, as if there were no difference between a tree cut in late August of any species or height or other measure of quality.

    Imagine if wrist watches grew on trees, perhaps special trees, allowing the USDA to stick their nose into that business. The American Watch Tree Association would give its support to a USDA ad campaign saying,
    “Buy a tree that grows a watch!”

    Of course, the tree farmers whose trees grew Citizen watches would grudgingly accept being charged $5 per thousand trees for the advertising, and progressives would like the idea that more people would be wearing the watch of the proletariat, just as they like cheap milk, pork, and beef. The tree farmers who had gone to the considerable expense of importing Patek Philippe trees (which grow only in Alpine conditions, and have stiff competition from Swiss growers) would not be as impressed with the USDA’s “win-win” program to create jobs, protect the environment and the family farm, et cetera.

    Now this is just advertising.

    How about Farm Credit helping the poor to buy tree-planting equipment and Colorado mountain real estate? They probably already do that already, as a FNMA-like program to help poor people get into the business. Then there is crop insurance, where the tree farmer and county agent drive out to inspect the crop that had a watch-stem failure.

    My wife and I have talked about getting an artificial tree. They are better than they were when we were first married and had one. No needles on the floor. I also might be tempted by a live tree, but they are more expensive to buy, and it takes some hard labor to plant one.

    Now, suppose we had National Tree Insurance, where every year everybody got a live evergreen the same time they got their free fifteen-pound turkey to plant in the back yard or in community-provided open space near your apartment and the high-speed rail station. This would be a boon to truckers, nurserymen, homeowners, renters, legal gardeners — and it would be good for the global environment since every tree would soak up CO2 and prevent climate change.

  2. Harry says:

    Some may object to abolishing all of the USDA, and I think there may be some legitimate functions. After all you can plant bamboo in your back yard (zoning permitted) and very quickly get privacy from your neighbor. You have to be careful, though, to control it from taking over not just your yard, but your neighbor’s as well.

    I can live with USDA meat inspection, for example. I also buy Hebrew National hot dogs, even though they are more expensive than Phillies Ball Park Franks. I just rebel when the Health Police promotes tofu hot dogs, or a half hot dog per person per year. I know that is getting far afield of the subject.

  3. Rod says:

    Imagine if Christmas tree farming were like dairy farming.

    First, the price of trees would be determined by the average CBT price for pine needles from October 1 to December 25th.

    Then the tree farmers would earn a quota according to their output from December 25 to March 25th, the period when Christmas trees are more likely to be scarce. Tree farmers would receive payment from a pool of all the tree “handlers” — a higher price for quota-based trees than for “excess trees.”

    Surplus Christmas trees would then be bought by the USDA at a “Class II Manufacturing Tree” price and turned into mulch, which would then be stored in salt caverns in Kansas City. Truckers would get $2 per mile for every thousandweight of mulch once they reached 50 miles from City Hall in Philadelphia.

    Yes, abolish the USDA and let the states inspect meat. Let Customs regulate the importation of plants and animals. Make the sale of corn, milk, orange juice and any other federally regulated agricultural commodity the responsibility of the farmers who produce it. Free markets work just fine for apples and asparagus.

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