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Well, this was only a matter of time. Next they come for the water bottles.

they have started the somewhat lengthy process of banning plastic water bottles on campus.

Now, it’s a private organization, my school, so they can do whatever the heck they want. My favorite line from the piece:

One student was incredulous that there were be any opposition, since as a whole it seems like a mainly positive initiative that will make the university more sustainable

Incredulous! How could us knuckle dragging heathens possibly be opposed to something that has absolutely no benefit to the environment, gives students the lesson that “just doing something” is the same as getting results, and further softens up students for thinking that the solution to the world’s problems lies in banning stuff they don’t like. Yup. Incredulous. If anyone were actually serious about “being sustainable” whatever that means, they’d ban one meal per week from being cooked and eaten, or they’d have a day when no one could drive to campus, or …

But go ahead, ban the bottles. You know what else is unsustainable? Me keeping my lights and heat on in my house today while I carefully grade hundreds of essays. It would clearly be much more sustainable if I banned grading. Just give everyone the C they truly deserve and be done with it.

I have to keep reminding myself that this is the price I have to pay to be able to do a job I love. Teaching. But each day that passes among the eco-fascists is a day closer to me taking my limited talents to elementary school, to talk to kids before they turn into eco-fascists.

I wonder what these kids would think if a group of students got together and pushed for the banning of, I don’t know, recycling. After all, it is pretty clear that the recycling program when it takes the form of curbside recycling of low value paper, cans, glass and plastic is certainly UNSUSTAINABLE … so I think I am now in favor of eco-fascism myself … let’s ban recycling.

10 Responses to “Like Flies to _____. the Ecofascists Come to Rochester”

  1. mark says:

    oh no are they really? luckily i will be long gone

  2. Harry says:

    Why not encourage teams of volunteer students to carpool in their Priuses to drive to Monroe County farms and clean out the calf and heifer pens? This would be organic recycling in the truest spirit, helping the people who sell local. An additional benefit would be that the baby calves would be bedded down properly, as opposed to being abused by their heartless capitalist owners.

    In addition, they could sweep the front and back walks, and report anything fishy to the EPA, Slate, and Mother Jones.

    • chuck martel says:

      Sorry to be critical Harry but the baby calves is redundant and just bad writing. Try not to do that any more. By the way, there are no baby geese, but there are goslings, there are no baby horses, there are foals of the filly and colt gender.

      • Gallbladder says:

        “the baby calves is redundant and just bad writing”

        I’m not a native English speaker, but it makes sense to me. There can be baby calves and big calves. As there can be baby children and big children. And big babes.

        And the reason people go to student meetings and demonstrations to say silly things is most likely because guys meet babes there.

      • Harry says:

        Chuck, I stand corrected. However, the baby calves were the ones we tied up and fed calf starter and colostrum until they were weaned. We did not let them loose until they would not suck each other. After perhaps three months, they would get released into the pen under the overshoot. PETA would classify this as animal abuse, but it was a happy day for them.

        Until they reached one year of age, they were calves. Then they were heifers, and three or four months bred heifers.

        Ergo, a baby calf is not the same as a calf or a baby.

  3. Harry says:

    I also liked the reference to “varied students”. That one would have gotten my red pen flying if I were a teacher, and who knows what would happen if somebody working for me for pay was so careless, in some way affecting my rice bowl.

    I hope Wintercow is done grading papers soon. Maybe there should be an agreement between the professor and the student/parent paying the tuition bill that the student will get as much attention in grading as the student has demonstrated in attention to learning during the term. Without the contract, the professor is allowed to use the C stamp.

  4. Speedmaster says:

    I’m close to considering anyone who uses the word “sustainable” consistently in regular conversation to be a dullard.

    • Harry says:

      You got it, Speedmaster.

      Except when it comes to the Philadelphia Eagles, when a sports writer observes that a ten-point lead is unsustainable.

  5. Anonzmous says:

    “Just give everyone the C they truly deserve and be done with it.”

    And that would solve the grade inequality problem, too! Glad to see you are onboard with the new way.

  6. chuck martel says:

    Is a guard going to scan a person’s body for plastic when they enter the campus perimeter? Maybe dogs could be trained to sniff folks for hidden plastic bottles as they enter or leave buildings. Or random pedestrian stops on busy sidewalks could snare some of those scoffing at sustainability. What will the punishment be for toting water around in unapproved containers? Will serial bottle carriers be banned from campus like the bottles themselves? And why just water bottles? How about soda and ketchup and salad dressing?

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